Love?

I found my portfolio from high school. Everything I wrote for the "Phoenix Flyer" lies in plastic sleeves that are starting to rip out of the binder, doing more harm than good. <- That was me attempting to be descriptive and sound overly-intellectual. Ignoring my ill-fated attempt to make something boring seem interesting, I read my articles today. I even read my proposals. I wanted to write about love for the Valentine's Day issue, what a fresh idea. Actually, I wanted to write about what I think of love and what my friends think of love. What I discovered from my friends was that romance has a very limited shelf-life. I make my friends seem incredibly cynical...some of them are. Anyway, my idea was shot down by my professor. I understand that it was cliche and I, at the time 17 years old, could be seen as "too young" to tackle such an adult conversation. Yet, I wanted to do it and I still do so...I'll question a bit here.

Within my family members that I see at holidays, parties over the summer, regularly for weekend dinners, etc. -NONE of them have ever been divorced. So there's a part of me that has hope. Then, there are more than a handful of family members who are 50+ years old who are ALL ALONE...hope shattered. Now, I may seem... naive here, but isn't the old saying "There's someone for everyone"? I thought so. I have seen some of the oddest couples be hopelessly devoted to one another and yet, people who I think are absolutely AMAZING have a better chance being struck by lightning than finding love.

I guess this is my only inquiry -what do people who are forever single think once they hit a certain age? I doubt they accept it and move on. I think that they have the capacity to be happy, but there's got to be something missing, right? Of course, as a person who lives in her mind and has to place herself in to EVERY scenario, I worry. Will I be like my aunts or my uncles? Not saying I want to find the love of my life and get married at 19, but I have yet to have a boyfriend/be kissed at all. My first kiss was with my gay friend Jordan and it was all of 4 seconds, egged on by the OBSCENE amount of alcohol we had consumed just minutes beforehand.

Love is supposed to be something that everyone DESERVES to feel and have, yet there are people who will, unfortunately, die alone and could die without having experienced a great love at all. Then, I get cynical. If love is supposed to be this fantastic thing, why does it make some people so miserable? The single, slightly bitter and rigidly jealous part of me becomes prideful -WHO NEEDS A MAN/WOMAN!?

...Maybe it's a good thing I didn't write this piece. I'm way out of my league here. Is it wrong to think about the end when you've really just begun? Is it wrong to put yourself in the shoes of people who are older than you? Actually, that last one, probably.

How do you feel about love, or lack there of? And, pardon my rambling :)